Pain

Pain dissembles every aspect of life, of living.
It eats away at who you are, devours independence yet leaves you isolated, despite every firm resolve not to let it.
Pain is the four letter word I hate most. A source of rage, of indiscriminate actions.
Pain negates life. It culls the heart, smears the spirit, wounds resolve.
Life is lived differently when you endure constant pain. Pain drains hope, it makes you feel hollow, unworthy.
It is ten years since an injury caused my right hip to seize-up. Gradually inflexibility became disability.
But on 29th May I had a new ‘bionic’ hip installed. Today I can stand tall again.
This is the beginning of a new chapter of my life. The act of being ME changes.

Meeting friends I never knew I had.

Meeting friends I never knew I had.

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2 Comments

Filed under Changes, courage, endurance, fulfilment, hope

2 responses to “Pain

  1. It’s awful you have had to suffer for so long Angie, I’ve had a trapped nerve in my neck for a few weeks which took over for a while so I can’t begin to imagine what it has been like. Good luck with your recovery

    • Unlike your injury the disintegration in my hip was initially gradual. That’s why I wanted to write about the way I feel now, because I had no idea how much and how badly the pain was affecting me until the operation brought relief. Despite the trauma of major surgery I was in less pain than previously. The physio was amazed when I managed the stairs first day, hobbling down and up with my two sticks. I tried to explain my euphoria at finding I could stand straight again but I don’t think it registered. So I thought I would write it down. I hope you find relief from the trapped nerve, it makes every movement of your head restrained.

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